User blog:WithInVisibility/My Resignation
I would like to inform everyone that I am resigning from the wiki. This was not a sudden decision (though it might appear to be), and a few users can attest to this statement. The following details why (up to a point), and I apologize for the length but let's be frank; I'm known much more for my explanations than for my brevity. I came onto the wiki in the hopes of contributing to a wider community that shared the same passion for this animated TV series. Following my arrival, I wrote synopses, created new pages, edited existing articles with correct formatting, etcetera before being promoted to administrator after what I deemed to be an appropriate time. I continued trying to be the most helpful I could be to the wiki, contributing in whatever way I could to make the wiki a better place. On the editing side, I have conceived giant ideas and followed through with them as my personal responsibility (such as with the weekly poll), and on the personal side I have always tried to answer people's uncertainties with thoroughly explained and kindly worded responses. Furthermore, I have not slacked on administrative duties as I've taken care of some spam-swears/vandalism myself and banned deserving users appropriately: also trying to be fair to users that were probably good-spirited, though misguided. As an administrator and editor, I have spent a large amount of effort in my contributions. Have they all been significant? Absolutely not, but I believe the massive efforts I've led have overshadowed the lesser ones. Moreover, I strove to be active, even in busy times (including during exam season or while working 8 shifts a week). I did not come on here to seek power or specific achievement: especially not to receive the rank of bureaucrat. In considering to promote anyone by the level of contribution he/she has shown, if there is no need for any more of the number for the current position, then there is no need and that's that. There is no harm done because there should be no expectation, as there is no necessity. But in seeing others be promoted to such a status, I was rather insulted because it felt as if all my contributions were overlooked. If I had not been so active or as worthwhile a contributor (in a relative sense), fair enough; I would not deserve it. However, knowing the contribution and commitment I've put forth (and knowing it's been recognized), I believe I should have been one of if not the first before others who have seemed to me to have been less dedicated, productive and/or present. This is not the only event that has factored into my decision, but it was the breaking point. I was pushed beyond an episode of upset and/or frustration to a mental state where I no longer cared. I do not feel that in anything, a person of power should not care about their associated work (I feel the same way for those that do not pay much attention or are not very involved themselves), thus in a moment back in late December 2015, I knew my days here were numbered. I hope it has been apparent that I have always tried to be reasonable, and if not that then at least rational. There are some times when I know I probably shouldn't do or word something a certain way, but nonetheless continue with it because I feel I have justification for my feelings. Likewise, for any action I perform, I can give an explanation for it. It is disappointing to feel as if my efforts are being disregarded because I may be less sociable and accommodating to a select few that supposedly matter. Since then, of course, I have had a few more kicks in the teeth, but more importantly I just have differing definitions of important values than others here. For example, I interpret respect as hearing out alternative opinions, politely discussing differences to find conclusions and judging other people based on their actions. I find that some others designate respect by rank of authority, and classify disagreeing statements (even of fact), and non-elaborate reciprocations (even of understanding), to be disrespectful. As such, I anticipate this blog post will be interpreted poorly, even though my only intention is to convey in a neutral stance my personal feelings and what led me to experience them. I am not looking for anyone to use this as fuel to start an argument; all I hope for is a, "You know what, I don't necessarily agree, but the statements are fair." There are a few other things that haven't gone well for me (though I will not take the time to go over them explicitly). I've felt mistrusted on occasion. I don't understand why sometimes I'm asked not to do something (so I don't in the future), just to see it not being a universal rule. I'm also tired of spontaneous actions being praised and even rewarded (though I've often enough been met with derision for them), while large-scale, planned projects go unappreciated. I tend to ask permission before doing something new as I believe that's how it should be in a professional sense, but given better responses for the opposite I suppose that quality is unwanted. Alas, ultimately I feel less desirable and treated improperly compared to others. I stayed to complete the projects I said I had hoped to do because it's the kind of person I am; to keep my word and not leave things unfinished. Thus, with the completion and application of the category web and reaching an extensive point in the stencils project, I think now is an appropriate time to take my leave (after holding off for 6 months). I have taken care of the edits for administrative pages that feature my name, as well as my demotion. No one needs to worry about doing that for me. But I do not want to imply that events on the wiki are the only reason; I do not have the same passion for the show as I once used to have. I do attribute some of my feelings to the wiki, but the majority of my loss of interest stems from the increasing reliance of the series on cheap tropes and lack of realism. From a show that initially drew me in with the charm and its presentation that did not treat its audience as if it were stupid, it devolved into caring about gimmicks: thus losing my faith. I am willing to come back briefly to work on some pages or clarify things I've previously done if asked. I am not however going to hold any personal commitment to this wiki, given the time I've already spent for it and my current feelings stated above. In other words, I plan to not be present. I may or may not get around to making stencils for how the categories are applied (it was a thought on my mind but I did also try to detail it well on the actual category pages, not to mention the countless examples on articles), but doing that would take lots of time I just know I could not handle without revealing my departure. Again, I am willing to explain myself with the category setup if need be. If anyone would like to contact me, please feel free to leave a message on my wall. I will definitely read them, but I will likely not respond. If anyone would like to hear my brutally honest opinion of them (or just talk), I will pop in the chat on occasion. You could also send me a chat time in a message and I will try to adhere to it, but there is no guarantee given how occupied I am nowadays. I plan to occasionally check in on the fanon wiki, and I will respond to any messages written there. I wish well for the wiki and everyone on it (before believing this is insincere, realize that it serves no purpose for me to hope otherwise, especially given that I have thrown so much effort into it while here). I hope you all find satisfaction and enjoyment on the wiki. I believe it just lost an asset, but such a statement should never be determined by the individual and should rather fall to the community served. I hope I served well for the time I was present. Honestly, have a good day. ~WithInVisibility Category:Blog posts